Dear 2020 Brides,
How are you feeling? As a fellow 2020 bride I’ve been asked this a lot, and to be honest I’m not okay, I’m anxious, I’m stressed and I’m upset. One of the biggest days of our lives is being affected by this pandemic.
In the blink of an eye the corona-virus went from something we heard about on the news to the only thing any of us are thinking about. We’re concerned about the health of our loved ones, our jobs and our businesses. We’re all trying our best to social distance but we miss seeing our friends and family. But to top it all off, you’ve had the extra stress of thinking about your wedding day. As if wedding planning isn’t stressful enough, and now there’s a global pandemic which has been added into the equation.
One thing we need to acknowledge right now is that we are using a lot of mental energy and it’s completely acceptable to feel mentally and emotionally drained. No matter where you was or are in your wedding timeline, adding a global pandemic into the mix will take a huge mental toll on any bride-to-be.
Our wedding is planned for September 2020, and even though that is still 5 months away and a lot can change between now and then, it’s difficult to be excited when there is so much uncertainty surrounding it. There has been a lot of talk (mainly on my end) about what our options are. Whether we will wait it out or postpone to another day when the world is a safer place. At the moment we haven’t done anything, we’re in limbo, waiting for each government announcement to help us make our decision.
I’m sure many brides-to-be can agree when I say it feels like we’ve been robbed of our special day. No matter how long you’ve been engaged, most of us have been dreaming and planning our wedding day since we were little girls. This is a one of the happiest times in our lives and unfortunately it’s surrounded by sadness.
But then we feel selfish. Selfish for caring about our wedding when there are thousands of people around the world who are being affected by this virus much more than us. But this is our wedding and we have every right to be upset and frustrated because the build up to our big day is full of so much uncertainty. Will our vulnerable guests be able to come? Will we need to postpone? How are we going to save the extra money to pay for the postponement fee? Gone are the days when our main concern was whether it would rain on our wedding day.
I have a lot of mixed emotions right now. I have my good days when I can put the wedding to the back of my mind and carry on with my life and then I have days when I drive myself mad thinking about things. Those are the days when I spend too long watching the news and comparing our current situation to other couples. Because every couples situation is different, some couple have been able to postpone with no additional charges, while others are faced with large admin fees to change the date. My fiance and I fall into the last category, as technically our wedding isn’t affected by this pandemic, we are unable to get ahead of the curve and postpone our wedding without facing huge financial implications.
The toughest thing about planning a wedding during these unprecedented times, is that no ones knows what will happen or when this will all be over. How do you make a plan B when no ones knows what the world will look like in a few months or even next year? We’re left with decisions which feel impossible to make. When life puts you in these difficult situations, it’s easy to say why me? Why my wedding? This is so unfair. And yes, it is unfair, it’s totally unfair. No matter how long you’ve been planning your special day, no matter the size of your wedding, no matter if you’ve cancelled, postponed or you’re still undecided, you’re allowed to feel emotional about your wedding day.
Throughout my engagement, I’ve had countless wedding chats with my mum, but unfortunately we’ve gone from talking about flowers and chair covers to postponing or cancelling. But through all of this, I can see more than ever how lucky I am to have such a caring and loving support system around me.
And despite all this uncertainty which surrounds our wedding day, there is one thing I am certain of, and that is the man I’m going to marry. He is caring, loving and supportive. He is my rock. He understands why I’m upset and even though he is upset too he doesn’t show it like I do. He’s strong and he picks me up when I’m down. We will probably need to change our wedding plans one way or the other, but one thing that won’t change is the man I’m marrying. And at the end of all this, that’s the most important thing.
I’m sending so much love to all couples and brides-to-be. We all have a difficult path ahead of us but we can get through this, you’re not alone.