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10 Ways to Build Confidence

Building confidence doesn’t mean you need to become the loudest and most outgoing person in the room. It’s about a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgement. It’s knowing what you will and won’t stand for, it’s knowing your values and sticking by them. Confidence is very much like muscle, it’s something that you can build up over time.
build confidence

1. Remember, not everyone is talking about you

You’re the main character in your life, so it’s easy to think that everyone is talking and thinking about you. But in everyone else’s life, they are the main character and they are mainly focused on themselves. Sometimes we think that everyone is talking about us but in reality, that’s not true at all. Other people are too occupied thinking about themselves and worrying about their own life. Sometimes they are even worried about what you’re thinking of them, meaning you’re both being paranoid about what each other thinks of each other.

2. Start using empowering affirmations

Start using empowering affirmations to build your self-love and build your confidence. We can all be very critical of ourselves and have negative self-talk. What you need to do is be able to recognise it as soon as you have that negative thought, and then choose not to think about that. Instead, choose to say something positive and uplifting about yourself. What do you like about yourself? Write down all the positive things about yourself, and keep it as a note on your phone so you can look at it when you’re feeling down.

3. Don’t worry about other people’s opinions

As humans we worry about being judged, we seek approval from others and we like to please people. Basically, we want to fit in and not be the odd one out. Yet the reality is when you worry about what others think of you, you hold yourself back from being yourself and doing what you love. Life becomes a lot easier once you learn to stop caring about what other people think of you. Because nothing should have the power to hold you back in life. Nobody should take away your confidence and stop you from living out your dreams.

4. Remember that you’re in control

You’re in control of your life, you’re the reason why you’re happy and you’re the reason why you’re sad. You have control over what you do and what you say. If you’re not happy with something in your life then you have the ability to change it, whether that be your job, your friends, your diet, your routine or your habits. There may be things in life which are difficult but in the end, you’re in control of your life and your happiness.

5. Unfollow negative people

Only follow accounts which inspire, motivate and connect with you. I also think when you follow too many accounts on social media you end up losing sight of what’s important to you online because your page is taken over by so many accounts you’re going to miss out on what your friends and family have posted. If any accounts which you follow bring you any negative feelings then you need to unfriend, unfollow and unsubscribe from them. This is the same for real life too, if anyone’s really draining your energy, if someone isn’t being a good friend, it’s time to distance yourself and protect yourself from that negative energy.

6. Do more small acts of micro bravery

Doing small acts of micro bravery every day will gradually help to build your confidence. If you don’t like booking appointments by phone and always choose to book them online, then step outside your comfort zone and pick up the phone. If talking to strangers scares you, then ask the checkout person how their day is going. If going swimming in public makes you feel anxious, then ask a friend to go with you. Things become much easier with practice and small acts of micro bravery will slowly build your confidence.

7. Rejection is redirection

Rejections are usually a hard pill to swallow. Whether it’s rejection from an opportunity, a job, a house or someone you liked, I can say that I’m lucky enough to have experienced rejection in my life. Yes lucky, because when life hits you with a big fat “no” just remember that there is a much greater “yes” behind it. Try to see every rejection in your life as a redirection for something better.

8. Exercise to feel good

Exercising regularly will enhance your well-being as it realises endorphins and relieves stress. Exercise will help you build your confidence and feel good about yourself! You don’t need to go for a long run, you don’t even need to leave the house, you can do something at home. Start small and do 20 squats, if your legs aren’t aching go for 30! Or do star jumps for 1 minute. Do anything that will get your blood pumping and your body moving.

Here are some short exercise videos to get you started:

9. Set yourself goals

Setting yourself goals, however big or small they are, will help to build your confidence and increase your self-esteem. This is because you’re focusing on yourself and the goal you’ve set. At the start of the month, I will open up my Positivity Planner and write down my goals, habits and bucket list for the month ahead. Then at the end of each month, I’ll go back to my planner and reflect on what went well and what I want to change. I’ve found that by having monthly goals I’m more likely to achieve everything on my list. In the past when I’ve set myself a New Year’s Resolution, my motivation tends to wear thin and I usefully forget about my goal by the end of the year. Another reason why I prefer monthly goals is that it allows smaller goals to be added to the list.

10. Do something you love

If you could do anything without judgement or worrying about what people thought, what would you do? No matter what you do, people are always going to have an opinion about it, some good and some bad. So with that in mind, you may as well do something you love. Start that blog, join that class, buy the outfit, change your career, whatever it is, if you want to do it then don’t let fear hold you back. You only have one life, so spend it doing the things you love.

Do you have any tips to build confidence and increase self-esteem? Leave a comment below!

Laura x

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The Comments

  • Self Believes

    Dear thosepositivethoughts,
    Thank you so much for this article. This article was very helpful for me not only me for everyone or specially for Those students want to improve or build their confidence. it’s totally helpful for everyone. You shared very well. I learn many things from this article.
    “Thank you so much for listening to me.”