It hit me the other day, I’ve been seeking permission from others to live the life I want. I didn’t realise it for so long until the other day when I was feeling unhappy about something in my life. I suddenly thought to myself, I’ve been unhappy about this for a while, why don’t I just do something about it? And the reason was because I cared too much about what other would think. I had been holding myself back from something which could bring me happiness, because others might not approve.
This got me thinking about how I’m currently living my life and how my ideal life is actually a lot easier to live than what I’ve lead myself to believe. I’m sure this is the same for many other people. All we need to do is ask ourselves some key questions such as:
- What do I want my day to look like?
- Where do I want to put my time?
- What do I want to do more of?
- What do I want to stop doing?
We need to stop limiting our believes which tell us we’re not good enough or undeserving of this life. That tell us we can do only do X when we are more successful or when we have more money.
Does this bring me joy?
How much of what you do in your life is for the pure love and how much is because you feel you should? Sometimes we need to slow down and ask ourselves, does this bring me joy? Or am I simply doing this because I feel I should? You want to be doing the latter as little as possible and spend the majority of your time doing the things you love. The things which make you loose track of time, the things which you never have an excuse for. It doesn’t matter what the weather is like or how tired you are, you will always show up for it.
I get asked a lot how I find time to write and work on my blog and honestly I think that’s kind of a silly question because it’s something I love so therefore I will always make time to do it because it brings me joy. The same way my mum always finds time to go swimming in the early hours of the morning before work, the same way my cousin always finds time to watch and review the latest movies, the same way my dad always finds time to play around with his old American car, and the same way you always find time to do the things you love.
What do I want my day to look like?
What does your ideal day look like? Do you make time for exercise, to read, to write, to relax? Do you have a morning routine and a evening routine? Do you meal prep, do you plan your day? Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking when I”m successful, when I have more money or when the kids are older I will make time to do X. When really you don’t need to wait, you can start taking control of your life right now.
Where do I want to put my time?
Like most of us, you will probably have many non-negotiable items to do everyday, such as going to school or work, picking your children up from school or looking after family members. Yet if you plan your time you will still be able to take control of your life do the things you love. Write a list of all the things you want to make time for, this could be something which you already do but you want to make more time for it. It could also be something which you don’t currently do but you’ve been longing to incorporate into your life. Then next to each item write how much time you would like to dedicate.
What do I want to stop doing?
Do you regularly commit yourself to events which you don’t want to attend? To create your ideal day you need stop saying yes to things you don’t want to do. You don’t need to your colleagues leaving do if you don’t want to. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do and not going simply because you don’t want to is a good enough reason. If this resonates with you, check out The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k*
Think about the tasks which you do at home, can you hire someone else to do them for you? Do you hate cleaning your car? Take it to the car wash. Do you hate spending your Sunday cleaning the house? Hire a maid once a week. Write down the things which you want to uncommit to. Your time is precise so use it to do the things you love.