Self-Doubt And How I’m Growing As A Person

In this post I thought I would share my current experience with self-doubt and freaking out after making big decisions. Decisions which feel very uncomfortable but will help me reach my goals in the long run.

We all experience feelings of self-doubt and anxiety and it’s all part of the personal growth journey and I believe if you’re not moving forward that you’re actually moving backwards. Some people may disagree with this, and say that if you’re not moving forward then you’re just staying still, but I believe that if we don’t step out of our comfort zone and make big decisions, then we hold ourselves back from reaching our full potential.

I thought it would be helpful to share how I’m learning to ride the waves of self-doubt and how I’m dealing with feelings of discomfort and resistance as it’s happening in the present moment. Instead of reflecting on my experience once I’m out the other end. That way I can show you how messy life can seem and how much our thoughts can control how we act and the decisions we make. I hope by sharing my experience you can reflect on your own and know that you’re not alone.

Self-Doubt And How I’m Growing As A Person

Self-sabotage

In 2018 I failed to achieve my blogging goals, in fact I didn’t even come close. I didn’t reach my financial goals and I didn’t do the projects which I had planned to do. Which in a way make sense, because how could I have reached my financial goals if I haven’t taken the necessary action.

Basically, throughout the whole of 2018 I stood in my own way of success, I kept myself feeling busy with “busy work” but avoided all of the hard, uncomfortable but necessary tasks which would grow both my business and my own self-development journey.

Therefore, this December I decided that in 2019 I will no longer stand in my own way and I will take massive action to reach my goals and achieve what I know is possible.

Will it will uncomfortable, hell yeah!

Will it be difficult, of course!

Will it be worth it? 100%!

Most people write off the month of December in most areas of there lives, including but not limited to, money (we spend more) health (we exercise less and eat unhealthy) and goals, we forget about our goals from the past year and say that we will try again next year. But I’ve decided that I won’t wait until January and I will start taking massive action now. Because there’s not better time like the present!

Taking massive action

You might be wondering what big decision I’ve made which is leading to feelings of self-doubt and making me freak out!

I’ve thrown myself into the deep end with a decision and even though my gut it telling me that it’s the right move, it still feel scary. I have invested the money I earned from my blog in 2018 into hiring a life/mindset coach, with their help I am working on a VERY exciting project, which will help you create healthy habits in 2019, reach your full potential and finally feel like everything’s on track.

Discomfort = growth

The goal which I’m working on requires a lot of hard work but even still, I’ve been surprised at how much self-doubt and discomfort it’s bought up. But that’s what happens when you step out of your comfort zone, because discomfort will only ever feel comfortable with repetition.

I’ve set myself a strict deadline and I’m determined stick with it, which means even when all I want to do is crawl back into my comfort zone and watch Netflix, I’m learning to persist on through the discomfort. With time and repetition the level of discomfort which I feeling right now will one day be my comfort zone, and that is an amazing thought to think.

I believe that if you’re not uncomfortable then you’re not growing and that’s exactly why I failed to achieve my goals in 2018. I was in my comfort zone and my goal required effort outside of my comfort zone. With the help of my coach, I am learning to lean into instead resistance feelings of self-doubt and discomfort and seeing it for what it really is, which is growth.

Fear of rejection

While working on my new project (which by the way will be launched on January 1 2019) I’ve experienced fear of rejection, which unfortunately goes hand in hand with feelings of self-doubt. The negative voice is my head has been telling me:

“you can’t do this, who are you kidding?, no-one will like it, you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not confident enough”.

I decided to write down all these negative thoughts in my journal before I went to sleep. Writing them down helped me realise how how hurtful they were, and that I would never say this to anyone else so why did I think it was okay to say to myself, especially when I was trying to grow and develop.

And it all comes down to fear of rejection. I was scared of being rejected by others and if I kept myself small then I couldn’t be judged and I couldn’t be rejected… but I could fail. I could fail by the lack of effort, I could fail to achieve my goals and I could fail to grow as a person.

I believe failing by lack of effort is the only real type of failure. If I put in 100% and I still don’t achieve my goal then I will try a different approach and keep persisting. Even if I don’t achieve my goal I will have developed my skills both personally and professionally.

Over planning

I’ve spoken a lot in previous blog posts and on my YouTube channel about “busy work”, and how it’s a sneaky way to feel busy and productive by avoiding the uncomfortable and necessary tasks which will help you develop and reach your goal. As I reflect back on this week, I’ve noticed that “busy work” sneaked into the form of “over planning”. I planned and planned and planned my new project and then I went back and edited the plan some more! It felt like the right thing to do, but now I realise that I was comfortable planning but I was uncomfortable with taking the action.

Luckily as I has set myself such as strict deadline, I was able to pull myself up on it and start taking the necessary action. But unfortunately this is something will I know will continue to happen and something i will need to keep pulling myself up on. And with practice and daily and weekly reflection and journaling I can catch myself quickly before i waste another year procrastinating.

Life is messy

This post is slightly different to my usual blog posts, but I hope you’ve found comfort knowing that we are all struggling and no ones life is perfect, no matter how pretty their Instagram photos look. Life is messy, life is full of ups and downs and we are all growing and learning together. I hope you this post helps you reflect on your year ahead and makes you take massive action towards your goals. And remember our thoughts can control how we act and the decisions we make. I hope by sharing my experience you can reflect on your own and know that you’re not alone

P.S: If you want to find out about the VERY exciting project which will be launched on January 1 2019, make sure to sign up to my email list! 

Laura x

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1 Comment

  1. 07/01/2019 / 17:09

    Hi Laura! I love your authenticity, I mean… you’re being so REAL and I can totally relate to it. I love how you were able to detect your self-sabotage and that you decided to change it. I’m having troubles with my comfort zone, too, and this gives me the motivation to learn to work through that discomfort. I am convinced there are so many things waiting at the end of my comfort zone, and I am willing to get there! As you said… the only failure is lack of effort, and nobody wants to fail, right?!

    Thank you
    Claudia

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