Insecurity and self-doubt is something which I encounter, it effects many areas of my life such as my relationships and my career. These insecurities keep me hidden from social situations and can stop me from trying new things. It’s a horrible feeling when you just don’t feel good enough or when you feel like don’t belong somewhere. Yet the good news is, I know deep down that I have complete control over these feelings and I have the power to overcome these self-doubts.
If you also encounter feelings of insecurity and self-doubt then know that you’re not alone. Self-doubt is completely normal and tends to occur when we experience failure or disappointment, or when we don’t meet the high expectations which we set ourselves. You can overcome these feelings, no matter how you feel.
You can get up, dress up, show up and never give up! Because the world is run by those who show up.
Sometimes you just have to put on lip-gloss and pretend that you’re psyched – Mindy Kaling
Fake it ’til you make it! This truly and honestly works. Faking confidence will help you to improve your self-esteem and overcome self-doubt. I have a tendency to put myself down a lot, by doing this I’m coming across as insecure. Yet when I fake my confidence it doesn’t take long until my behaviour starts to become natural. You can ‘fake it’ by using positive words, speaking clearly and in a self-assured voice. Faking it also means working on your body language. Do you have eye contact or are you looking at your feet? Hows your posture? Are you nervously playing with your hands? Acting out each technique will teach you how to be confident and overcome your self-doubt.
Inspiration: 100 positive affirmations to kick start your day
A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor
A great way to overcome self-doubt is to set yourself a new challenge. When you doubt yourself you’re more likely to stay within your comfort zone and shy away from new challenges. By setting yourself a new goal you will instantly feel a sense of purpose and direction in your life. As you start to make progress your confidence will grow and you’ll see that you’re capable of achieving whatever you desire.
Challenge: Practice self-care everyday
Remember The Good
The best way to forget the bad things in life is to remember the good things – Mark Amend
Hands up if you are a pro at remembering the bad stuff instead of the million great things you’ve done and achieved! I’m totally guilty of this, even though I know it’s a big cause of self-doubt. A good way to overcome this habit is to write a list of all the things which you’ve achieved in your life and everything which you’re proud of. You will probably start with the more obvious accomplishments such as learning to drive, passing an exam, getting the grades you worked so hard for, having children and so on. Once you’ve written out your big achievements start thinking about smaller things which you’ve achieved, helping your best friend during a time of need, donating to charity etc. Then think about who you are as a person, kind, generous, caring and so on. Remember everything good about yourself. If you find this task difficult I would suggest keeping a list of all the compliments you’ve received, this will point you in the right direction.
Be Your Own Best Friend
Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend
What was your last thought about yourself? Was it a kind compliment or was it a criticism? Treating yourself as you would treat your best friend is hard advice to action, because we can all be so hard and critical to ourselves. Yet you would never ever discourage your best friend and tell them that they aren’t good enough to do something, so why do we do it to ourselves? We speak positive and encouraging words to our friends and family, we want to help them achieve their dreams and feel good about themselves so why is so damn hard to be our own best friend? You deserve love, we all do, and the best love of all is with yourself wouldn’t you agree? So let’s make an effort to be kind, gentle, forgiving and encouraging to ourselves. Just as we would to our best friend.
Love Yourself: Ten steps to a positive self-image
Who runs your world? You do!
Photography by the talented @owlailaaa