I always thought that once I’m grown up I would have everything sorted, and I’m not just referring to the checklist of having the perfect partner, house, career and family. I’m also talking about those ridiculously high expectations that we seem to place upon ourselves, you know the ones of having the perfect body, knowing how to cook delicious but healthy meals, having time for daily exercise and meditation, having a clean home and then sharing those perfect moments online. I don’t know about you but this all sounds exhausting!
Yet everyday, from the moment I wake up I’m criticising myself. I criticise myself for the smallest things, such as snoozing my alarm and not following through with my morning routine, for rushing to get ready in the morning and going to work with messy hair. The voice in my head seems to think it’s okay to make self feel crap over the smallest details, even though I would never criticise another person over these tiny insignificant things.
I hope you find comfort in knowing that you’re not alone and we are all criticising ourselves over the most smallest and laughable things. Maybe if we learn to share more of our struggles then we can lower our high expectations. Don’t worry that you haven’t got round to washing the baked bean stain off your dressing gown or that you’ve been wearing dry shampoo for more than you would like to admit. Because you wont be the only one.
Start believing in yourself
You have to believe in yourself, because honestly, if you don’t believe in yourself who else will? But more importantly, if you don’t believe in yourself then how can you reach your goals. You’re so much more capable than you think you are! If you’re having trouble believing in yourself, just say to yourself, I just want to see if I can and then do exactly that and see what happens. Get rid of all the reasons why you think you shouldn’t do something and simply “see if you can”.
Stop comparing yourself
I feel like I say this and hear this a lot “don’t compare yourself to others”, but they make it so easier for us, don’t they? Just look at Instagram, it’s a highlight of everyone’s best moments. We are up to date with everything and everyone that it’s just too easy to compare ourselves to others. But we must stop because this behaviour is self-sabotaging. For starters, do you even know what you are comparing yourself to? You don’t know the full picture, you could possibly be comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle. Be inspired by others, let there achievements motivate and encourage you, say to yourself, if they can do then so can I!
Stop focusing too much on your size
For a few months now I’ve been trying to squeeze myself back into old outfits which dig into my waist and make me feel uncomfortable. I felt awful every time I attempted to get back into my smaller clothes. But once I accepted that my body has changed as I’ve got older, I treated myself to new clothes in my new size and I felt so much more confident. The small number stitched in your clothing label shouldn’t mean anything, as long as your healthy and happy.
Stop putting pressure on yourself
Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? Why do we expect more from ourselves than we would from anyone else? We face enough stress in life without putting more on ourselves but this is exactly what many of us do, and we might not even release it. Sometimes we need to find the balance between leading a full life and being overwhelmed. You can start by paying attention to how you feel at the end of each day or week and taking a look at your life to see if you have enough time for self-care, such a sleep, exercise, relationships, down time and healthy eating.
Stop under valuing yourself
Don’t under value your skills, your abilities or your time. Sell your products and services at the price which they are worth and speak up in your work review if you believe you deserve a pay rise. Too many of us under value ourselves and settle for less than we are worth and less than we deserve.
Start looking at how far you’ve come
It’s so easy to forget about how far we’ve come and instead focus on how far we have to go. This is something which I need to work on because I’m constantly moving my goal to something more challenging. Look back on how much you have achieved so far and be proud of yourself! It’s good to aim for bigger and better things, just don’t forget where you started.
What are some ways you overcome self-criticism? I would love to hear your thoughts!